Larena Tannert is a journalism junior and opinion columnist for Mustang News. The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect those of Mustang Media Group.
Welcome to “Girl Talk,” your new go-to column for navigating all things friendship, beauty, wellness, and everything in between. Whether we’re diving into skincare routines, unpacking the messy parts of relationships, exploring coffee culture or figuring out how to feel put-together when life feels chaotic, this is your space for real conversations about the things that matter to us. Let’s figure it all out together.
The first time someone called me a “girls” girl,” I took it as the ultimate compliment. It meant I was doing something right in the complicated landscape of women friendships. But lately, I’ve been wondering: when did supporting other women become a title we have to earn instead of just something we are expected to do?
Somewhere between the third wave of feminism and TikTok, we decided that supporting other women needed a rebrand. Enter: the “girls girl.”
She hypes up strangers in bathroom lines, never talks badly about other women and would rather die than compete for male attention. She’s the patron saint of woman friendship, and while that sounds beautiful in theory, something about it feels oddly performative.
Unfortunately, the term “girls’ girl” has morphed from a simple descriptor into another impossible standard, another test we’re supposed to pass to prove we’re doing womanhood correctly. The pressure is exhausting. Women already face impossible standards in every aspect of life: our appearance, our careers, our relationships. Now we’ve added another: how we interact with other women.
One slip-up, one moment where we’re not perfectly supportive, and we risk being judged or labeled as a bad feminist. The irony is cruel. A label meant to celebrate solidarity between women has become another way to police women’s behavior, another standard we will inevitably fall short of, and another reason to tear each other down.
Here’s what troubles me: the girls who announce they’re “girls’ girls” the loudest are sometimes the ones subtly tearing other women down. They’ll post about empowering women while gossiping about their friend’s relationship. They’ll preach body positivity but make backhanded comments about who gained weight. It becomes disingenuous solidarity, feminism for show rather than impact.
Then there’s the gatekeeping. If you are not constantly cheerleading every woman you encounter, you risk being labeled as “not like other girls” (which, ironically, is exactly what “girls’ girl” culture claims to reject).
Having a genuine conflict with another woman or simply not connecting with them suddenly feels like a betrayal of the sisterhood. Real friendship and solidarity need room for boundaries, honesty and yes, sometimes constructive criticism.
What we actually need isn’t more performance– it’s more complicated and messy than that. It’s defending your friend even when she’s being difficult. It’s calling out damaging behavior from women you love. It’s recognizing that women are complex and can be both supportive and flawed, kind and complicated.
True solidarity between women doesn’t require a declaration. It exists in the unglamorous moments: the friend who tells you the truth when you don’t want to hear it or the woman who disagrees with you but respects your opinion anyway. These aren’t performances, they are respect, and basic human compassion, things that don’t need a label.
So maybe it’s time we retired the term altogether. Real solidarity doesn’t need a label or a performance. It shows up quietly, consistently, and without pageantry. And that kind of support? It doesn’t need validation from anyone but the women actually living it.