Ash Pickett is a business administration senior and opinion columnist for Mustang News. The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect those of Mustang Media Group.
Some topics referenced in this article may not be suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion is advised.
When I first heard about Tea from my friends, they told me the app was a way to anonymously rate and comment on men around campus. They showed me a photo of one of our mutual friends that was posted on the app, and next to his name were 10 red flag symbols. One comment under his post said, “Wouldn’t be surprised at all if he cheated.”
I was pretty shocked to see so many red flags and unbecoming comments. I can’t say I’m super close with the guy, but I’ve been around him in a variety of settings, and he’s been nothing but respectful to me and the people around us. It felt like the people commenting were just there to spread negativity and make assumptions about him.
I was curious what the real point of this app was, or if it really was just built for girls to share their opinions on guys — gossip at scale, so to speak. I did some Google searches, then downloaded Tea myself. After using it, I feel strongly that this app is harmful to both male and female college students.
It cultivates polarization between men and women, and puts people down more than it protects them. Tea also encourages women to view men as opponents or people that should be feared, which is an inherently harmful mindset on both sides.
For context, within the app, women can post a photo and the first name of a guy they’re interested in knowing more about. Users can then react with a red or green flag and leave a comment if they have any gossip to share about him.
Marketers of the app call it a dating safety tool that protects women. It was built with the intention of helping women easily access basic background checks, identify catfishers, avoid sex offenders and people with criminal records and more controversially, read others’ anonymous opinions on these men.
When I opened the app, I was asked to take a selfie to verify that I was, in fact, a woman. Once approved, I was prompted to create an alias as my username (it was emphasized that it should not contain any personal information), and was asked to agree to a set of rules before proceeding:
- Everything you say must be true
- Don’t leak posts to your guy friends
- Bullying or harassment is not allowed
- Don’t post last names or personal data
- Be kind, positive and respectful
- Don’t make fun of men
- No posting women or men under 18
These sound great — they’re clearly written to limit misuse. But how is Tea actually enforcing them? Tea’s privacy statement mentions that their team “employs both automated systems and human moderation to monitor content,” yet I’ve seen people blatantly violate these rules.
The accuracy of claims are unchecked
“Everything you say must be true” seems like more of a suggestion than a genuine and enforceable rule. It’s almost impossible to confirm or deny the authenticity of comments when they’re anonymous. And these claims are indeed unverified by Tea according to Fast Company, a media business brand.
I saw this happen firsthand. One post included a long paragraph for a caption that claimed the guy was abusive to women and to animals and that he is a pedophile. The author detailed a long story about his disgusting past, yet multiple comments contained even longer stories about how all of the posted details were wrong, and the man had actually been blamed for these crimes he didn’t commit.
There was a long and exhausting back and forth in the comments between multiple people, with both sides having completely opposing perspectives on what truly happened. It was someone’s word against someone else’s with no hard evidence to prove the truth, which further masked the real truth and thus did just the opposite of the app’s intended purpose.
I’m not sure whether those claims against him were true or false, and I wouldn’t want to disrespect anybody’s experience. But regardless, it’s not doing anybody any good by having these conversations open for public viewing.
Tea is an organized place that encourages negative commentary around the business of ordinary people’s lives. It highlights them by name and face for all to see. It’s not like regular social media, where its main purpose is to foster stronger social connection, or even comparable to apps like Yik Yak, where posting ordinary people’s personal information is forbidden and moderated by a dedicated team, according to their website.
Even though Tea claims via their privacy notice to moderate their content as well, it’s clear by scrolling on both apps that YikYak holds true to this standard where Tea does not. Even on sites like Reddit, there are subreddit moderators managing participant’s comments.
Tea allows people to put sensitive, unverified information into the world that anyone – whether it be employers, colleagues, friends or family – can view. That kind of exposure has the potential to tear somebody’s life apart.
In an increasingly data-driven world, we have a responsibility to respect people’s privacy to our utmost ability.
Sometimes the app strays away from safety concerns
Rule #6, “Don’t make fun of men” is not honored.
Here are some comments I found while I was scrolling on Tea for the first time: “Sittin’ there with his ugly a— bowl cut,” “Small d—” and “Baby he just looks evil.” These have nothing to do with genuine concerns over safety.
We know from social media that behind a screen and a fake name, people will go to absurd lengths to put other people down. Hate comments and cancel culture are a prime example of this. Now take that and bring it to a college campus, in a space where people are encouraged to write anonymous comments about peers. This is just spreading negativity.
My friends brought up a point defending the app: although some people might abuse it and use it as a means of cyberbullying, it has the potential to prevent more intense crimes like assault and abuse. Because only women are allowed on the app and screenshots are prohibited, the men receiving hate comments unrelated to safety or dating might never even find out. Therefore, my friends claim that the positives outweigh the negatives.
But these unchecked comments can still cause damage to people’s lives. If the means to the end is cyberbullying and potential libel, we need to seriously rethink whether that’s worth it. I say it’s not.
When the app starts to come at the expense of online bullying, hate and potential libel, a line needs to be drawn. The app becomes a place of toxicity. It opens up the door for nasty rumors to spread which can genuinely hurt college students.
The potential positives
Tea definitely has the potential to make a positive impact, and, while I don’t have the stats to prove it, I’d bet that it has helped women in some capacity.
For one, it’s not uncommon that some men can get away with committing terrible acts such as cheating, or even abuse or assault. These men are often never held accountable for their actions when women feel isolated and afraid to report them, especially on college campuses, according to statistics from RAINN, an anti-sexual violence nonprofit. This app provides a way for those women to share their experiences anonymously. It can be a form of catharsis, and serve as a warning for other women to stay away from certain people.
Tea also offers a paid, subscription-based feature where users can run full background checks on any man to learn their full criminal history. I’m not a huge fan of that tool being blocked by a paywall, but it’s unrealistic to expect a person to go on a deep dive hunt for a man’s records, so this feature can be quite helpful for safer dating.
There are also some comments on Tea that are nice, such as “Nicest person ever,” “Literally love him so much!” and “One of the coolest people I’ve met.” These prove that not everyone is misusing the app.
This app isn’t a bad idea in theory: it could help women avoid being catfished or spending time around men with criminal backgrounds. I’m also glad that Tea’s existence has opened up new conversations about how we can build tools to help women.
In practice, however, the way Tea is built is biased toward negativity, hate and division, rather than toward the genuine “girls supporting girls” ideology.
My hope is that eventually we can get to a tool that genuinely helps women without unfairly tearing anyone down in the process. In the meantime, we need to continue to think critically about apps like Tea to ensure we can reach our collective goal of safety without compromising on integrity.
If you’re looking for dating and/or safety resources, here’s a list for your reference:
- Safer Cal Poly: Cal Poly’s prevention education & confidential advocacy resource for sexual assault, intimate partner violence, domestic violence, stalking, sexual exploitation and harassment.
- PULSE Cal Poly: A collaborative, student-led health education program that seeks to achieve a balanced, thriving campus at Cal Poly.
- Office of Student Rights & Responsibilities at Cal Poly: Report incidents and learn your rights as a student.
- RAINN: The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization and operator of the National Sexual Assault Hotline.
- Love is Respect: Offers confidential support for teens, young adults, and their loved ones seeking help, resources, or information related to healthy relationships and dating abuse in the US.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
This story appeared in a printed newspaper on Nov. 12. For more stories from the November print edition check out the featured print section on our website or the full edition.