Ryan Chartrand

Hello to everyone in San Luis Obispo.

I’m reporting from South Beach, Miami compliments of the Mustang Daily.

Even though they only flew me to Alabama, and didn’t give me any hotel accommodations, I’ll make do.

I learn by doing.

I also just realized it was only a one-way flight, and they didn’t even give me tickets to the actual game. Who cares how I got here, or that I don’t have tickets, all that matters is I’m at the greatest event in the world – the Super Bowl!

This has become a modern-day holiday for all Americans.

Sooner than later, it may actually be a national holiday. No joke. A group has actually started the Web site SuperBowlMonday.com, which has the sole purpose of generating enough hits to have a legitimate argument for Congress to make the Monday after each Super Bowl a day of rest and recovery. Now that is my type of holiday.

Super Bowl Sunday has taken on a life of its own. There are more than 5,000 media members sent to cover this event. Five thousand! You can’t even begin to comprehend the craziness. It is literally a circus. I even tried to look for Snowflake, but she was nowhere to be found.

Since the Mustang Daily forgot to give me a media pass, I had to find another way in. I finally found an opening right down the middle of the Colts defense. I was in – free to ask all the questions I wanted to.

I was so tired of hearing the same pointless questions asked by the same boring reporters. It’s either “Peyton, will the thumb injury affect your ability to throw the out to Wayne?” or “Lovie, why does your team get no respect?”

I was not going to let myself fall into that mold. It was time for a reporter to ask the questions that really matter.

My first target was Peyton Manning. I waited my turn until I saw an opening.

“Peyton, if Eli gets arrested after the Shaq/Jay-Z party will you have to leave practice or will Archie bail him out?”

No comment, understandable; he’s just really focused. I’ll ask a football-related question then.

“Hypothetically speaking, could the Cal Poly football team beat the Colts on their best and your worst day?”

“Cal who?”

I was done with Peyton right there.

I was off to Marvin Harrison. Since I have never heard Harrison speak, I was wondering what type of interesting insight he may have into the game.

“Marvin, have you considered ‘Dancing with the Stars’?”

Not only did Harrison not comment, he didn’t really even move.

I felt I was wasting my time with a guy who may not even be able to talk. So I decided to go check out Bears camp. I know just who I wanted to talk too – Brian Urlacher, the reigning Defensive Player of the Year and one bad man, if you know what I mean.

“Brian, do you not like Matt Leinart now that he’s dating your ex-girlfriend Paris Hilton, and do you think with his serious ‘Hollywood’ persona that they actually can last?”

This must have been a sore subject because he gave me the look like I better leave, and quickly at that. I could feel things turning for the worse very quickly so I made a beeline for the next player available. It turned out to be “Tank” Johnson.

“Tank…uh…uh…nevermind?” as I looked at the 6-foot-3, 300-pound man with an arsenal at his home similar to that of the U.S. Marines, and a nickname like that I realized he probably wasn’t a man I wanted to antagonize.

The Super Bowl is nuts and it’s only Thursday.

Let’s just hope I can stay out of trouble for the week. Two keys for the weekend are don’t follow Michael Irvin to the Penthouse suite and avoid limousine rides with Ray Lewis.

If I can do that, I’m home free.

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