Caitlyn Harkins is an English sophomore, Mustang Daily copy editor and sex columnist.
When you jump into bed (or a study room on the fifth floor of our beloved Robert E. Kennedy Library), sometimes the moment is so freaking hot you can’t help but finish before you’ve even started.
Before your partner sets The Lonely Island’s “Jizz In My Pants” as your ringtone, skim this article to assuage your worries.
If premature ejaculation happens to you, it may seem like you’re the only one it has ever happened to. But really, there’s a huge pharmaceutical market geared toward helping men last longer, because, according to the Mayo Clinic, as many as 1 out of 3 men suffer from premature ejaculation.
Premature ejaculation happens when a man comes before penetration, or within a minute of penetration. It also occurs when men are unable to control or delay their orgasm once they have begun sexual activity, which can include fooling around or penetration.
While sometimes guys can suffer from overexcitement, premature ejaculation can be a biological issue. If it happens every once in a while, there is generally no need to worry about your sexual health. Chalk up your quick orgasm to nerves or how hot your date looked.
Be sure to also take into account the last time you masturbated or ejaculated as well. Don’t automatically assume you are a premature ejaculator just because you came within 30 seconds on one occasion. If there has been a substantial amount of time since your last orgasm, you are more likely to ejaculate faster and with a higher volume of semen. So if you chose to hold out over spring break keep that tissue box nearby for damage control lest you get the sticky stuff all over your room.
If you’re opening the floodgates early during every, or nearly every, sexual encounter (and yes, that includes masturbation), then you should talk to your doctor about potential causes.
By talking to a professional health expert — and not WebMD — you can have peace of mind either knowing your problem is normal, or begin to take measures to extend your sexual rendezvous.
Whether or not you’re a chronic early bird or a one-time early arrival, bear in mind it isn’t really a big deal. After those awesome I-just-came-I-need-to-take-a-nap orgasm feelings subside, you might feel a little embarassed that you busted a nut pretty quickly.
Instead of mumbling a weird apology to your partner (or hand, if you were jerking off), offer up a sheepish grin and explain you were so worked up by how hot they were, or that the one thing they did with their tongue just sent you over the edge.
Make your early orgasm into a compliment, not a deal-breaker. Let your partner know you’re still game to keep fooling around, particularly if your partner hasn’t orgasmed already.
If it isn’t you, but your partner who climaxed early, for the love of Dr. Ruth, don’t freak out. Say something off the cuff (“Wow! All of that foreplay must have really worked!”) and ask if you can get your orgasm too, if you want to continue playing.
Keep in mind it was most likely a one time thing — and if it isn’t, casually suggest seeing a doctor together to help make things better. Don’t use the moment as a means for humiliation, and definitely do not bring it up in an argument. The matter can be ego-crushing, but only if one of you makes it so.
To help prevent premature ejaculation in the future, practice masturbating almost to the point of orgasm and then stopping before actually finishing. With time, you should be able to have greater control over your orgasm.
And with that, venture forth into the world of all night sex sessions. Just don’t forget the lube.