Author bio:
Grace Gillio is a news reporter for Mustang News. In her free time she likes to bake cakes, write poetry, do the crossword (poorly) and read way too many books.
For all the things I would’ve loved to be remembered as a child, “awkward” is not at the top of my list.
But when I’m reminded of myself in middle school, some part of me understands. I’m reminded of my transition lenses perpetually perched at the tip of my nose, my backpack with light-up wheels, journaling in the corner at recess and reading from an encyclopedia of all the rides at Disneyland.
Through all this awkwardness, I built an intricate inner world, one filled with stories, novels and make believe. I was comfortable here.
This feeling followed me to high school and then to college in different degrees and intensities. My awkwardness became shyness, and my shyness became a shield.
I moved through four years of Cal Poly like this, sticking to myself, my group of friends I had known since freshman year, my books and my room. It didn’t feel odd then because it was all I had ever known.
In between my fourth year and my fifth year, spurred by the nervous excitement that I was soon to start my final year of school, I decided to apply to MMG. I talked to my mom on the phone the whole walk from the parking lot to Building 26 for my interview, filled with nerves and doubt. She told me to be brave and to believe in myself, and I did.
I will spare all the little details, but I find myself now, on the tail end of the best year of college, all because I had the privilege to be a part of MMG.
Student journalism has changed my life in more ways than I can count, but the most salient? Being on the news team this past year practically forced me to break out of my shell. It agitated all my pressure points, threatened my anxiety and forced me to open to the world around me — however unwillingly in those first few months.
Suddenly, my inner world wasn’t so lonely.
From approaching random people on campus for interviews to long nights spent writing stories, every experience I have had this year in the newsroom and beyond has shaped me into a more confident human.
Sometimes now, I will catch myself starting a conversation with a stranger and think back to the person I was before those first few months on the news team, before I met so many amazing mentors, friends and fellow journalists. I am grateful to her for taking that leap, sending in that application and taking a deep breath.
I want to thank MMG and the people who are a part of it for many things — but a few stand out to me. Thank you for teaching me the value of a curious heart, the unexpected community in reaching out for help, the joy in feeling like you belong and the importance of stepping outside of the bounds of comfortability.
So many lessons from this year I will hold dear in my heart. And to those whose path may not intersect with student journalism, I encourage you to do something new, to talk to someone different, to walk down a new street — and maybe don’t wait for your fifth year to do it. I hope you find the joy waiting behind the fear of the unknown.