Ryan Chartrand

I’ve been given instructions by my friends Seneca and Dylan, who have both researched potential scenarios thoroughly. When the day comes, I am to gather my family and drive immediately to Seneca’s house, the designated meeting place. Seneca’s mother originates from Oklahoma. Apparently it’s fitting that they have various firearms.

You think I’m nuts. But I’m writing for your welfare, with your best interest at heart. So listen up, unschooled.

Walking out of the horror film “28 Days Later” and silencing that small voice that asks, “What if that happens?” is understandable, because those zombies are supernatural. Though many of you are doomed already, the concept of being overtaken by the supernatural undead is pretty absurd. But believe me, it’d be a royal screwing (even an ironical screwing when infected Queen Elizabeth II herself runs you down).

It comes down to supernatural versus biological. Supernatural calls for a parasitic meteor hitting the planet, or perhaps the quintessential triggering of an ancient curse on a fog-wrapped tomb by teenagers some Halloween. The zombie invasion will likely stem from a biological disaster at the hands of humans.

It has already begun. A Dec. 11, 2005 New York Times article reported that doctors at the Safar Center for Resuscitation Research at the University of Pittsburgh managed to bring dogs back from a state of clinical death after three hours.

The article stated, “The feat, the researchers say, points the way toward a time when human beings will make a similar trip, not as a matter of ghoulish curiosity but as a means of preserving life in the face of otherwise fatal injuries.”

Does anybody else see this as the opening scene?

It’s a few small hops, skips and blood transmissions away from the impending.

Max Brooks, author of “The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead” states on his Web site that infection can occur only through direct fluidic contact.

“A zombie bite, although by far the most recognizable means of transference, is by no means the only one. Humans have been infected by brushing their open wounds against those of a zombie or by being splattered by its remains after an explosion,” Brooks wrote.

The moment of truth will elicit pure chaos. If you’re lucky enough to not be one of the poor suckers lost to the first phase, the next step is to decipher a means of survival. Your rudimentary instinct will most likely be to reach the most advantageous habitat such as a megastore. Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club, Costco are all going to be fought over. The riotous battle to make a claim on such a venue may be more perilous than warding off the infected.

Your best bet is to be stationary. Stay away from densely populated areas. If you are already in such an area, use your supplies to stay put for a few days until the commencing turmoil subsides.

Give it two or three days for society’s initial panic to settle. Yes, there will be more zombies out there, but they’ll be easier to fight than a thinking human desperate for survival.

Escape heavily populated areas but do not necessarily keep moving. Build a base camp preferably in the hills or mountains not too far from an urban area. This proximity will allow you to be far enough to see a threat coming and close enough to travel for supplies without a dependency on the little, if any, transportation available.

The inevitable event should be prepared for – both mentally and with supplies. Stocking up on supplies is obvious. In the least, have the following: food, pet food, water, firearms, ammo, blades (Why blades, you ask? For stealth moves when ammo isn’t available), a fire extinguisher, a first aid kit, clothing, shortwave hand radios, batteries, gas-powered generator, flashlights and toilet paper.

Mental preparation is key. Be fully prepared to demolish the heads of loved ones who are infected. Assume all forms of communication inoperative.

Hollywood is misleading in what the actual outbreak will probably be like. Movies like “Resident Evil: Extinction” may give you the idea that becoming nomadic is potentially a good idea. Do not do this! What if it turns out you aren’t the main character and you’re that secondary RV that gets a flat tire? And in mid-change the zombies catch up and Milla Jovovich can’t save you?

Relying on your supplies for an indefinite period of time is your best bet. Do not rely on the possibility of a cure, but rather the undead decaying after running out of their food supply.

“Goals range from stronger human antibodies to resistant cell structure to a counter-virus designed to identify and destroy (the virus),” Brooks wrote on a potential treatment. “This and other, more radical treatments are still in their earliest stages, with no foreseeable success in the near future … chances are, the infected human was doomed from the moment the virus entered his or her system.”

Hopefully, this will inspire you to have your own back-up plan as you should for any other emergency like floods and earthquakes. Good luck out there, because there’s no more room at Seneca’s.

Agnus-Dei Farrant is a journalism senior and a former Mustang Daily reporter.

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