President Baker – Man or myth?

Supposedly, we have this president, President Baker, that exists to serve our university. Yet, of all my days spent on this campus, I have NEVER seen him. It’s like he’s “Where’s Waldo,” minus the candycane-striped sweater and glasses. But at least you find Waldo eventually. Who is this guy and where does he hide? Perhaps in his Avila house’s wine cellar while getting his schmooze on?

Is this guy real, or just a made up figure like the abominable snowman or Sasquatch? I do not know what satisfaction I would get from seeing him other than knowing that the highest paid CSU president does, in fact, exist. If I were president (which I assure you the administration would do anything to keep out a minority, dread-headed, high-school-dropout turned Poly Dolly), you would always see me at the UU and around campus.

Well, maybe not always. I mean I would have to make time out to enjoy my Avila house, my $1,000 a month car expenses and my almost $300,000 annual salary. So, I guess I just figured out why I have never seen him. I mean, if I were making over a quarter of $1,000,000, I probably wouldn’t want to be on campus that much either.

Keep up the good work, President Sasquatch, er I mean President Baker. I guess.

Pedro Hernandez

Social science junior

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