Kinesiology senior Nick Larson and aerospace engineering senior Jake Devincenzi are Mustang News beer columnists. | David Jang/Mustang News

Nick Larson and Jake Devincenzi
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Kinesiology senior Nick Larson and aerospace engineering senior Jake Devincenzi are Mustang News beer columnists.

What are you doing next week? Studying for midterms? Finishing up that senior project?

Wrong. So wrong.

If you thought you had plans next week that involved anything other than drinking beer, you need to cancel them. Like, now. Put down your textbooks and pick up your pint glasses, because next week is the week. It is the culmination of 51 weeks of drinking and brewing. Every beer you’ve poured in the past year, every brew you’ve consumed, every last sip you’ve savored, have been preparing you for next week.

“Why is next week so special?” you ask. Well, our young beer protégé, next week is the week your mama warned you about. It’s the one, the only … American Craft Beer Week. More American than a Bald Eagle pulling Saddam Hussein out of a hole by his knickers whilst singing a duet of the national anthem with Abraham Lincoln and eating a piping-hot piece of apple pie, American Craft Beer Week is the week in May, right before the busy summer beer season, when craft beer lovers across America gather to enjoy the one thing we love most in this world: craft beer done the American way (the right way).

Gone are the days of Europeans scoffing at American beer with jabs like, “How do you turn a German beer into an American beer? Drink it.” German beers are cute and all, but we prefer our IPAs with an extra dose of Bald Eagle. Leave your pilsners at home and let’s celebrate.

American Craft Beer Week began in 2006 when the Brewers Association realized, “Dang, we make good beer! Let’s have a holiday. Nay! Let’s have a holi-week.” In the years since, participation grew from 124 events in 2006 to more than 1,200 in 2013, with events spanning each and every state in our beautiful nation.

So without further ado, let’s get into a few of the events we will be attending in the coming week of delicious beer glory.

Hops on hops on hops

We love hops more than the Easter bunny. The little flowers that give IPAs that delicious bitter taste you find yourself craving after a long day of studying are the only thing that keep us sane during these midterm-filled weeks. And since we owe so much to our tiny green friends, it’s time we celebrated them in all their glory. What better way to do so than with over 15 bitter-biting IPAs on tap at your favorite Amphibian and Fruit Pub in downtown San Luis Obispo? Have you ever had the urge to numb each and every taste bud in your mouth? Well, this is the event for you. If you’re looking for something to do on Saturday, come kick it with us at Frog & Peach Pub and hop on the IPA bandwagon. Taps flow at noon. Be there.

It may not be 4/20, but it’s high time San Luis Obispo got Stoned!

News flash, San Luis Obispo: contrary to what Costco will have you believe, Stone Brewing Co. brews more than just an IPA. Gasp! Known for its arrogant and adventurous brews, Stone has been ranked in the top 10 craft breweries in the nation for years. It’s taken the nation by storm, and now it’s ready to do the same thing at Spike’s Pub. You know those 35-ish taps Spikes normally has from “around the world?” Sorry Belgium, this is AMERICAN Craft Beer Week. And in the spirit of America, Spike’s will have 35 Stone beers on tap. That’s right, sports fans, 35 different Stone beers. For all those computer science majors, thats 100011 different taps. So leave those “Around the World” cards at home, throw on your American flag bro tank and come get Stoned with us this Monday night at Spike’s. Oh, and the Stone Brewmaster, Mitch Steele, will be there. So that’s cool.

Pucker up — It’s gonna be a sour ride

If you couldn’t tell from our past articles, or you are a newcomer to this awesome column, we happen to be large fans of sour beers. After an entire week of incredible beer events, May 17 tops them all with the greatest beer event known to man: Sour Fest. You thought Tax Day Sour Fest at Spike’s was impressive? Well, it was, but this will be just as awesome — if not better. Eureka!. 11 a.m. 31 sours on tap … Need we say more!?

And it gets better. These are just the three events we are most excited for. There are beer-tivities happening every single night of Beer Week in San Luis Obispo. And to anyone who finds us at any of these events, we’ll buy you a beer. Cheers!

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