Caitlyn Harkins is an English sophomore, Mustang Daily copy editor and sex columnist.
Shit. You don’t know what to say. But you’re put on the spot with no way out because you’re already in. So what do you do? Do you awkwardly pretend you didn’t hear and continue thrusting? Or do you accept the challenge and prepare to give your partner the verbal lowdown they want?
Of course, it can be daunting to jump directly into dirty talk. But take a (very brief) moment to assess what was going on before your partner asked you to be dirty.
Were you completely silent? There is nothing sexy about someone staring intently ahead of them while thrusting quietly. Your partner may be wondering if it’s not feeling good for you or may get self-conscious for being loquacious compared to your monk-like focus.
If you really don’t know what to do, make some moans and throw in a few ‘ohs’ and ‘yeahs.’ It gives the impression you’re having an awesome time — which you definitely should be.
But really, what people are looking for when they want dirty talk is one of three things: they want to be told how good it’s going, what is about to happen or why you’re doing something to them.
The tone of your dirty talk can take on either a dominant or submissive style. It’s easy to slip into those roles: either focus on what you’re doing to them or what they are doing to you.
You can praise your partner for doing that special thing with their tongue, or firmly tell your partner that they need to roll over, move their hips up, etc.
For example, a good line may be “Oh yeah, you like that? I’m going to spank you hard like the naughty girl you are.”
The example incorporates all four aspects, although you may want to gauge the dirty level your partner is into. Dirty for some people might be cupcakes and kittens for others, but could horribly offend a future partner.
So start light. Moaning, groaning and other natural “sex sounds” are always appreciated, and if your partner reacts well, you can take it up to the next level.
Getting even naughtier can incorporate common anatomical swear words and the ever pervasive “f-bomb.” If your partner starts to not respond, just take it back to the moaning level.
Dirty talk is like “Inception” — sometimes, you need to go deeper. But when you’re in the midst of a hot session, things can get out of control and your mouth may start coming up with phrases that don’t belong in the bedroom.
I have a friend who, while in the middle of an otherwise fantastic banging, stopped mid-thrust when the girl he was with started calling him daddy. Some people might be into name-calling, but I know quite a few people who aren’t.
The same goes for intense name-calling, like bitch, slut and other so-bad-they’re-sometimes-good terms. If you’re with a girl who likes being called one of these, there is a solid chance she’ll be asking you to call her that already.
Which brings me to my last point: If you want to talk dirty, don’t feel uncomfortable about it. Bring it up in a non-sexual situation if you really want to suss out what things they may like to hear (as in, don’t be already naked if you want to have a serious discussion — wait until the blood flows back to your brain from your genitals).
So did you like that, readers? Yeah, I knew you would. You dirty readers.