Ani Nazarian is an english sophomore and an opinion/satire columnist for Mustang News. The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect those of Mustang Media Group.
Hello Mustangs, I hope you’re excited about Cal Poly’s upcoming fall break! As we approach this holiday, when giving thanks is encouraged, there are several things to remember for the expected festivities on and off campus. Let us take a moment to extend our utmost gratitude for some of the Cal Poly community’s favorite fall break traditions.
- Skipping Out of Class
As we’re all excited to go home and not complete the homework our professors assigned us over break, many of us will skip out on our pesky GE’s to get home. Instead, the real stress on our minds will be how much food we can stuff in our faces within an hour. I’ve personally never experienced more discouragement in attending class, especially after receiving my most recent midterm grade in Introductory Physics. This is enhanced by class being on a Thursday night, and my brain refusing to accept any equations that contain more than 2 variables. This is the only variable relationship I can understand: after every midterm in Physics, my will to live plummets exponentially.
- Personal Opinions on the Election
The recent presidential election will surely prompt discussions around the Thanksgiving table this year. Even though many students will see their relatives for the first time all quarter, some family members cannot keep their mouths shut—despite knowing their statements will cause a rift at the gathering. They would rather affirm their allegedly “objective” perspective and subsequent correct opinion.
Now, I have some excellent advice for anyone dealing with so-called “accepting” aunts or uncles: before blabbing the first sentence that pops into our brains, let’s all remember to use the common sense that evolution gave us, and think before we speak.
- “Creative” Thanksgiving Costumes
Although President Armstrong sends emails throughout the quarter reminding us students not to express our excitement for this holiday by wearing culturally insensitive costumes, some seemingly always forget. I would like to take this as an opportunity to refresh our collective memories not to attempt to be someone else, no matter how fascinating or exotic it sounds. Even dressing up as a pilgrim is pushing it. Please just wear your sweatshirt and sweatpants pair to class, I know it’s boring, but my email inbox is running out of storage.
- Homework Over Break
Despite it having the word “break” in its title in our academic calendar, some professors seem to find the idea of assigning work socially acceptable. I’m here to remind any faculty members who may have these thoughts to ask themselves whether or not they’d like to stay in students’ good graces.
On an unrelated note: students, remember that teacher evaluations are released around at the end of the quarter. Remember to express gratitude for your amazing teachers, but also feel free to leave constructive feedback for those who graciously assigned you three problem sets this Thanksgiving. Perhaps we can put an end to homework over break…just a thought.
Thank you for tuning in again to this column, I hope it provided some insight on what to expect before we all embark on our Amtrak trains and begin the wondrous journey home. I, for one, can’t wait to Uber to the station at 5:30 am and wait to see blinding headlights piercing through the darkness, as I freeze in the frigid cold. Such a thrill! Have a safe break, Mustangs, and make sure not to overindulge in too many delicious meals, or you’ll come down with post-holiday depression the next time you order from VG’s.