The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns.

Rebecca Caraway is a journalism junior and Mustang News opinion columnist. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Mustang News. 

Are you a high school senior or transfer student trying to make one of the biggest decisions in your life? Well look no further! I will tell you all the reasons why Cal Poly – San Luis Obispo is the best college in the nation! 


Campus dining is one of my favorite things about Cal Poly. You’ll never go hungry or miss your family’s home cooked meals. Vista Grande has everything you need for a really great deal! Plus, what other college campus will you find not one, but two 24-hour Subways? If you ever need afternoon pick-me-up you have plenty of choices. You can choose anything from one of our three different Starbucks venues. Also, since the main dining complex is under renovations, you won’t get to enjoy that as a food option, but you will get to enjoy mind-numbing construction noises! Did I mention we have two 24-hour Subways?


Cal Poly is full of different students with diverse and unique backgrounds! Campus is definitely not full of just rich white kids from the Bay Area. We have students from all over the place (if that place is San Francisco, Orange County or Colorado.) 

Going to Cal Poly is a huge cultural experience. You’ll be surrounded by new foods, diverse people and a myriad of worldviews. Even student’s fashion is diverse, some people prefer Lululemon and some prefer Patagonia!

Affordable Housing

San Luis Obispo has some of the most affordable housing in the nation. You won’t need to share a bedroom with three people just to afford a place. Housing is so affordable that most people can even live by themselves, but we still have roommates just for the fun of it. 

And don’t worry, affordable doesn’t mean bad quality. San Luis Obispo has such helpful and friendly landlords that never try to rip you off and are always there for you if something goes wrong. All the apartments and houses have up-to-date appliances, tons of space and great parking. You don’t need to worry about fighting with your roommates over the unit’s parking spot!


Dating is super easy here. If hookup culture is your thing, this isn’t the place for you. Everyone is looking for long-term committed relationships. If you go on a dating app you will find tons of polite and easy going guys who want to treat you right. No one is trying to lead you on or waste your time. Almost every student leaves Cal Poly with a long-term serious partner that will definitely survive the chaos of post-grad life. 

Choosing Cal Poly will be one of the best decisions you ever make. Not only will you save tons of money, but you’ll be surrounded by so many different people. And don’t forget — two 24-hour Subways!