The Monday Manure is a satire column that publishes satire and opinion pieces that do not reflect the views of Mustang News.
Dormcest: Do’s and don’ts
It’s no secret that horned-up freshmen are likely to crap where they eat. The hormones and excitement that surround dorm-dwellers…
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What to expect going home for Thanksgiving 2025
There’s nothing quite like being home for the holidays, especially Thanksgiving. The smell of freshly-baked pumpkin pie, a house full…
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Kennedy Library consumed by glowing black orb
After being under renovation for over two years and reopening in September 2025, the Kennedy Library is unavailable once again,…
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Six things to bring up during fraternity rush to guarantee a bid
Fraternity rush brings about the opportunity to meet lifelong friends, share unforgettable memories, and find a sense of belonging. With…
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Parents welcome daughter home after graduation, confident she’ll leave someday
“Of course we’re proud,” said Gertrude, while aggressively vacuuming the carpet in a zigzag pattern. “She’s the first in the…
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