Brooke Robertson

The “Living Bridge” compilation is fucking cool. I don’t mean that as a throwaway comment either. Nicholas Vernhes who put this compilation together has so much coolness that I don’t know how he had time to put this together, seeing as he’s probably flooded with plenty of free coke and offers of hot hipster sex.

How do you get this cool? I mean, it’s just utterly implausible.

First, the guy is from Brooklyn and I’m guessing Williamsburg. He probably throws on a Valet tee and rides his fixed-gear bike to work. No, he probably doesn’t even do that. He probably rolls out of his lofted bed and into his sick recording studio Rare Book Room Records.

Seriously, the man has been recording the best underground bands in his own studio in Brooklyn since 1995. Example: In 1997, he recorded one of Ted Leo’s first bands, Chisel. I mean he was recording that guy before he got crossover fame. Legit. Straight up legit.

You know what he just finished recording a few days ago? The new Deerhunter record, “Microcastle.” What does that mean in layman’s terms? If independent records were toilet paper, Deerhunter would be a nice French bidet.

Second, he just opened a record label releasing said underground bands. Let me repeat that. He OWNS a record label AND a recording studio IN Brooklyn.

Most people who live in Brooklyn only own a Japanther vinyl and a funny hat and think that makes them cool. Not Nicholas Vernhes.

He has a record label and is releasing records by the bands Palms and Lia Ices. I’ve never even heard of either of those bands – that’s how cool this guy is.

Third, the first record released on his label is this “Living Bridge” compilation. Let me just say, this track list is what my play sheet looks like when I do a radio show.

No, wait: I have no idea who LUS, The Jewish or Kapow is. I only know the big bands on here like Rings (insert undetectable hipster sarcasm).

This track list is like the playlist I wish I had so I could actually feel like being an elitist asshole was appropriate. Not to mention that it’s not just a compilation of things this guy likes.

All of these songs were recorded in his recording studio and none of them have been released anywhere else.

This man recorded songs from bands like Deerhunter, Black Dice and Avey Tare of Animal Collective solely for this collection. Oh, except for one. The Silver Jews song Vernhes recorded was an unreleased track for hipster staple album “American Water.”

Nicholas Vernhes, the rest of the world may not entirely know how straight up legit you are and may not even buy your awesome compilation after this article. But I know. I envy you.

If hipsters were cars, I’d be a PT Cruiser and you’d be like some sort of sustainable electric hovercraft that could go like a billion miles per hour. You’re probably not even doing this to get laid. One more point for you, you asshole.

Graham Culbertson is a journalism senior and a stacks director for KCPR, San Luis Obispo, 91.3 FM. He’s also completely full of it.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *