I shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat, and then toyed with the heat controls for a minute, hoping one of those buttons would cause my mother’s question to vanish instantly from my mind, instead of hanging over our heads in the silent car on an errand run over break. Moments earlier she had lowered the volume, cleared her throat and asked, “So, sweetheart-do you know about these parties where girls give boys blowjobs?”
How could I even begin to answer such a question from my proper, sweet mother, who in my mind had sex three times to produce us and then called it a day? Well gosh, Mom-do you mean the parties where everyone gets wasted and two people drunkenly search for an empty room where the guy will whiskey dick the girl after ten minutes of hard work? In that case, yes I know those parties, and I attend them regularly and have occasionally been that girl. Or the crazy swinger ones where people abandon every article of clothing upon entering some erotic mansion and love it up with twenty or thirty strangers? Because those parties I haven’t been to-yet.
It’s not just my mother. A high school friend found herself mortified beyond words when her mother recently declared, “Did you know some married men like to put their penises in their wives butts? I read an article about it.” Clearly a generational gap concerning hot sex has emerged. According to the National Study of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles conducted in 2000, the average age at which most young people lose their virginity is now 16 – that’s quite a difference from 21, which was the average age 50 years ago. Furthermore, with the continued welcome introduction of gay culture into the mainstream, accompanied with newer and more available means of birth control, young people today have created a quieter but seemingly much kinkier sexual revolution than the free lovers of the sixties did.
Of course, the powers that be (namely the ones who are completely clueless about sex today, like so many of our mothers) believe that ignoring the fact that kids just want to get down is the best solution, hence the friendly but eerily energized abstinence speakers we had to sit through in high school. But too often the speakers turned sex into the proverbial apple tree, and like sinful, hormone-driven Adams and Eves the majority of us hunkered down at the roots and stuffed ourselves full of that which is forbidden.
So young people today hear two sides of the argument: that yes, everyone is doing it and you should too, or no, you dirty slut, get thee to a nunnery. If our parents only knew what the majority of kids today were up to, imagine the fire and brimstone that would ensue – the term limit amendment would be thrown out and W would be voted president for life, running on a “no sex for anybody!” platform.
I write this not to convey the fact that, while others (notably monks and asexuals) may find the sexual activities of our generation as somewhat eyebrow raising, that in the end we could all use a little more lovin’ – and don’t let any embarrassingly innocent questions your mom might have tell you otherwise.
Questions? Comments? Shoot an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org if you hear of any of those parties – yes, those parties.