Gino Macaluso’s piece in Monday’s Mustang Daily was the most offensive thing I have read in months. I don’t care about whatever opinion of “Belle and Sebby” he may have; I don’t have much of one. I am offended because the Mustang Daily – the newspaper that represents this university – chose to publish it where other people could read it, making my degree worthless. Not only am I now ashamed to say that I attend Cal Poly, but also that English is my native language.
How can I even begin to make a concise, 250 word statement on this abomination? Should I start with the spelling errors, the misused words, the contradictions, the incomplete or nonsensical analogies or metaphors, or the words written in all capital letters at random? Should I perhaps begin with the paragraphs spent discussing other bands, the glaring errors in grammar and syntax, the onomatopoeias that stretch for entire lines, the interminable parenthetical clauses, or the blatant contradictions? Maybe I should open with the plain fact most of the words do not form coherent thoughts?
Oh no, that’s already 183 words.
I guess I’ll just use the remainder to ask some more questions: How could pocket lint form a bastion? How could a bastion of lint construct “stuff?” Who in his right mind would make a pocket out of cashmere? If this album is so bad, why is it “worth a trip to the record store?” Is this piece a hyper-ironic advertisement for the University Writing Lab?
City and regional planning senior