Almost every college student has a long distance relationship of one kind or another. And by relationship I mean of any kind — familial, best friend or just one of those people who call you at peak hours of the night because you’ve had a little too much fun out on the town. But what is it about the romantically-based relationship that makes it so incredibly difficult to survive the distance?
There seems to be many factors into these relationships. Factors often considered include actual distance between each person, the length of the relationship, conflicting schedules and the amount of trust the couple shares.
All of these play into it, but what causes crying in bed or day dreaming over the lack of love and attention received over the last nine months of school, or even three months of summer vacation?
I think it’s fair to say that most couples that venture into the long distance field didn’t choose it — some are high school sweethearts, others found each other in college but have to go home for all holidays (including three long months of perfect beach weather) and others have just been put in the field with no idea what to do or why their relationship has suddenly changed.
The feelings that tend to go through a person’s head vary with sex, age, self-confidence and the most popular feeling, jealousy.
Jealousy is one characteristic that no one wants, but everyone secretly has to some degree. It’s unfortunate how one comes to realize they have this trait. Usually it’s brought up over something minuscule, like a simple conversation that turns into an argument,or comments that have been bothering you for some unbeknown reason. Or maybe it’s when she mentions a friends name and all of a sudden your heart drops a couple feet, and you realize you never even knew you felt jealous.
Now this seems a bit over the top, but ask anyone that has ever had to endure a relationship of this nature, and I am sure they would agree. It begins with one not calling when they are supposed to, then it becomes hours of silence with no word — not even a text — and you begin to think of who she’s talking to or who he gave a ride home to.
From here, emotions swell leaving one side angry and the other feeling unloved and nervous. It’s a tiring roller coaster that may seize or go down hill for a moment or even a day, but eventually with the long distance relationship you can guarantee that it will go right back up again, ending in some sort of argument.
But there is good news. After having lived through a long distance relationship myself, as well as having a best friend dive straight through a three year long distance relationship, I would say I’ve learned a couple things.
First of all, take a step back from any issue and think before saying or acting on anything. For example, let’s say your boyfriend decided to attend a concert in his town that you really wanted to go to, but can’t attend because it is too far away. Now it’s understandable that you would feel left out and hurt, but it really wouldn’t have made any sense for you to go anyway. Why ruin his fun?
It’s always important to remember what a relationship is all about. You’re supposed to love and support each other, and have fun together. Relationships are all about trial and error. With long distance it can get messy, but with the right attitude it’s possible to survive.
So the lesson here is that while everyone has some kind of long distance relationship, it’s the romantic ones that will take a little more effort to be successful. If it’s meant to be, you will survive the distance and also have learned more about yourself and your significant other than you ever knew.