Credit: File Photo | Mustang News

The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns.

Zoie Denton is an English sophomore and Mustang News opinion columnist. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Mustang News. 

1. Architecture graveyard

Grab a backpack, a hammock and your hundreds of dollars worth of textbooks and climb a tree. This is the most practical and relaxing way to enjoy any type of homework. Bonus points if you are studying physics so you can drop stuff from tall places and really embrace the learn by doing mentality. 

2. Erhart Agriculture Building

The key to this spot is making sure you are as close to the never-ending construction as possible. This spot is recommended specifically for engineers because the sounds of cranes or construction workers yelling will make them all feel instantly inspired.

3. Dexter Lawn

Do you like getting hit in the face by flying objects? Who doesn’t, right? If so, this is the spot for you.

Hacky sacks will probably find their way to your head and footballs will definitely encourage your love for aerodynamics. And, if you’re lucky, your face will catch a frisbee! Another amazing aspect of this study spot is that no one knows about it!

It will probably be empty and quiet so you can dive deep into your class material.

4. Your dorm

Roommates can be hard sometimes, but hey, they can occasionally be considerate about studying. Just ask them to be quiet and they definitely will respect your wishes with no questions asked.

For peak knowledge consumption, stay in and read over your biology notes while one of your roommates cries over their long distance relationship as the other recites Eminem’s rap in “Lose Yourself” for the twentieth time that hour.

5. The Recreation Center (Rec)

Having a bunch of men hopped up on pre-workout judging you while you’re trying to work out simply isn’t enough –– they should be judging you while you’re studying, too! The rec also provides some very comfortable and obviously clean bean bag chairs for seating. 

6. The UU

Country music. Enough said. 

7. The Fifth Floor of the Lib

This spot is great for enthusiastic group projects where you communicate with your group as loudly and as often as possible. I’m going to let you guys in on a little secret here: if you run up and down the stairs of the library, you can combine studying and exercise all in one! No one will hate you for doing this. 

After you get kicked out of the lib, (because let’s face it) don’t study, give up! Maybe studying just isn’t for you. I recommend reconsidering what very important things you could be doing in those 25 to 30 hours.

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