When my roommate and I moved into our abode over the summer, we were faced with the annoying tasks of setting up electricity, gas and cable. Matters of entertainment were left in my hands, and in my “It’s summer and I will never have any responsibilities ever” haze, I signed us on for Charter’s most expensive package: All the pay channels, plus cable Internet, for a cool 90 bones a month. But lately I’ve noticed that, between two girls who are trying desperately to graduate on time, we haven’t been making enough use of the premium channels and all their broadcasting benefits. Which is why Jane, returning home from the gym a few nights ago, stumbled across the boyfriend and myself glued to back-to-back episodes of Real Sex, HBO’s shock documentary about sex around the nation, followed by back-to-back episodes (it was quite the Thursday night) of The Best Sex Ever, featuring possibly the worst softcore sex ever.
Jane seemed a bit caught off guard that A) We were watching porn together, and B) We were watching porn together on the couch she contributed to the house. Although we all had a laugh (she’s a good sport), her surprise sparked some interest of my own. In a drunken poll I conducted at the bars over the weekend (thank you to all participants), most couples I asked said they do watch porn together – occasionally. “Yeah, we do,” said my friend Andrea, up from UCSB, “But it’s because he wants to – not me.” Sadly, this sentiment was echoed by several girls I spoke to. Porn is basically a concession a girl will make in the relationship, just like the guy will agree to talk about his feelings every now and then even though he’d rather gouge out his eyeballs.
Studies show that men tend to be more visual than women, which explains why the guy you randomly made out with last Cinco de Mayo eerily kept his eyes open – the whole time. This is also why men tend to overlook the facts that, first, the acting in porn is so cheesy you need crackers to watch it, and second, hardcore porn is graphic and usually a shocker for novices. Most girls, even the more seasoned ones, find it somewhat hard to take “Debbie Does Dallas” seriously with all of the thrusting, slimy shots therein, let alone become aroused by it. However, while easier to watch, softcore porn is incredibly irritating in its weak attempts to cover up the fact that nothing is happening. A girl simulating a blowjob without a few bobs up and down is not fooling anyone.
But the virtues of good porn cannot be ignored. The key is to find something both partners in the relationship can find arousing, or else the wonder that is pornography can become a sore spot between the two. We girls just need to keep in mind that porn is not a replacement for the sexual relationship you are having (read: Just because Jenna Jameson is really good at her job doesn’t mean he wants to leave you for her) and that it can actually be pretty hot, when given a fair chance. And lastly, I highly recommend not paying for the stuff – have you heard about this thing called the Internet? Go and get your Google on.
Janice Edman is an English senior and a Mustang Daily columnist.