Julianne Roth is a journalism senior and Mustang Daily sex columnist.
Cal Poly is an aesthetically pleasing campus and I’m not talking about the foliage.
The transition from winter to spring in San Luis Obispo is a magical time of year when women and men strip off their figure-drowning garments and slip into something a little more revealing.
It’s no hyperbole that it could be harder than ever to keep it in our pants.
Could it be worth it to do so?
Apparently, “It becomes much more difficult to objectively see each other’s character traits if you have sex with someone ‘too-soon,’” relationship coach and author Susanne Alexander said.
I subjectively disagree. But maybe my boyfriend and I are the exception, although I highly doubt it.
Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?
Before you even consider getting or giving a good dicking, be clear about your expectations.
According to “relationship expert” Joan Allen, “There needs to be a conversation up front. The woman may assume sex implies a commitment; the man may not see it that way.”
I whole-vulvaedly agree with the former part of her statement; however, I frankly find the latter to be superfluous and delusional.
Yes, the woman “may assume sex implies a commitment.” But you know what also might happen? His dick may accidentally slide up your ass, too.
Men may also assume sex implies a commitment. Shocking, I know.
Women enjoy a good stringless bang like anyone else. Now, I’m not advising or commanding anyone to have unprotected, anonymous gas station bathroom sex, but what I am saying is that sometimes a woman wants to be ridden all night and never speak to or hear from the guy or girl again.
Or maybe she wants to have sex with that sexy, smart person from her chemistry class after their first date.
(Well, I do — just because I like to hear about every sweaty, thrusting detail. But I digress … )
Honesty can be intimidating for people. Thankfully it’s never been an issue for me — in the bedroom or anywhere else.
If you’re a consenting adult engaged in any type of sexual relationship — be that one of five minutes or one of several years — your partner needs to know what you want out of your relationship.
Furthermore, you and your partner need to briefly discuss your sexual histories as well. But please do not illustrate graphic descriptions for every sexual experience you’ve ever had, because (a) your partner is not interested, and (b) that could take days if your sex life is anything like mine — just kidding.
Rules are for fools
Allen said, “My advice is this: wait as long as you can.”
Everyone deals with their own mentality, not to mention their own set of sexual urges and desires, so to set stringent rules that are supposed to apply to everybody is equivalent to that stuff you accidentally step in on the sidewalk and have to wash off your shoes.
On the other hand, I think rules do have their own place in the bedroom — somewhere a tad bit kinkier. For instance, I do not care for being choked during sex or vaginally fisted. I’m actually not kidding here, go figure.
So, if you’re at all like me and would rather not have an unexpected finger up your butt, voice your preferences.
Your partner should encourage this and accept your wishes. If that is unfortunately not the case, stick to your hand until you find someone — to put it nicely — better.
Whenever you are uncomfortable with any sexual act, it’s vital to inform whomever you’re sleeping with about your concern.
Happy spring quarter, Cal Poly! I wish you good luck with all your sexual endeavors and adventures.