Julianne Roth is a journalism senior and Mustang Daily sex columnist.
Cal Poly is an aesthetically pleasing campus and I’m not talking about the foliage.
The transition from winter to spring in San Luis Obispo is a magical time of year when women and men strip off their figure-drowning garments and slip into something a little more revealing.
It’s no hyperbole that it could be harder than ever to keep it in our pants.
Could it be worth it to do so?
Apparently, “It becomes much more difficult to objectively see each other’s character traits if you have sex with someone ‘too-soon,’” relationship coach and author Susanne Alexander said.
I subjectively disagree. But maybe my boyfriend and I are the exception, although I highly doubt it.
Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?
Before you even consider getting or giving a good dicking, be clear about your expectations.
According to “relationship expert” Joan Allen, “There needs to be a conversation up front. The woman may assume sex implies a commitment; the man may not see it that way.”
I whole-vulvaedly agree with the former part of her statement; however, I frankly find the latter to be superfluous and delusional.
Yes, the woman “may assume sex implies a commitment.” But you know what also might happen? His dick may accidentally slide up your ass, too.
Men may also assume sex implies a commitment. Shocking, I know.
Women enjoy a good stringless bang like anyone else. Now, I’m not advising or commanding anyone to have unprotected, anonymous gas station bathroom sex, but what I am saying is that sometimes a woman wants to be ridden all night and never speak to or hear from the guy or girl again.
Or maybe she wants to have sex with that sexy, smart person from her chemistry class after their first date.
Who cares?
(Well, I do — just because I like to hear about every sweaty, thrusting detail. But I digress … )
Honesty can be intimidating for people. Thankfully it’s never been an issue for me — in the bedroom or anywhere else.
If you’re a consenting adult engaged in any type of sexual relationship — be that one of five minutes or one of several years — your partner needs to know what you want out of your relationship.
Furthermore, you and your partner need to briefly discuss your sexual histories as well. But please do not illustrate graphic descriptions for every sexual experience you’ve ever had, because (a) your partner is not interested, and (b) that could take days if your sex life is anything like mine — just kidding.
Rules are for fools
Allen said, “My advice is this: wait as long as you can.”
Everyone deals with their own mentality, not to mention their own set of sexual urges and desires, so to set stringent rules that are supposed to apply to everybody is equivalent to that stuff you accidentally step in on the sidewalk and have to wash off your shoes.
On the other hand, I think rules do have their own place in the bedroom — somewhere a tad bit kinkier. For instance, I do not care for being choked during sex or vaginally fisted. I’m actually not kidding here, go figure.
So, if you’re at all like me and would rather not have an unexpected finger up your butt, voice your preferences.
Your partner should encourage this and accept your wishes. If that is unfortunately not the case, stick to your hand until you find someone — to put it nicely — better.
Whenever you are uncomfortable with any sexual act, it’s vital to inform whomever you’re sleeping with about your concern.
Happy spring quarter, Cal Poly! I wish you good luck with all your sexual endeavors and adventures.
As a Cal Poly Journalism alum, I am very disappointed to see this on the MD’s website. Not only is this article vulgar, it is goes into completely unnecessary detail. I am shocked that a program such as Cal Poly would allow this to be published. It is not the kind of thing I want to associate my degree with.
Who’s the audience for this crap? Maybe more urgent, who supervises what goes online here? There’s other websites for this kind of garbage (thousands of them), so why is it showing up on a university newspaper website. I’d think that Cal Poly would want to seek more intellectual pursuits than printing some shameless exhibitionist’s drivel.
Personally everyone, your comments are ridiculous. We do have freedom of speech and when you guys are ready to have an intelligent conversation, then we can talk. This article is well-written and comes from a humorous yet delightfully fun standpoint where one shouldn’t have to worry about ignorant comments in order to write expressively in detail. Great column Julianne and keep it going!!!!
Sorry but what is the point of this article? Was is to express how it’s now spring and people have more sex? And the aside slutty comments are plain vulgar. I’ve read playboy articles that are less disgusting and offensive. This article is total crap! The fact that this got published amazes me. Cal poly get your shit together!!
This article has limited intelligent material and lacks beneficial information for readers. The fact that all I learned from taking the time to read this is that this female enjoys an entire fist up her vagina yet not a finger in her butt is absurd. These articles should have some information that makes it understandable to publish and there is none within this. Yes, you do have freedom of speech but someone should have take away the freedom to advertise your sex life without good reasoning. I do not know the author and especially did not want to know about her bedroom activities especially when there was no feedback to help me as a reader, it simply informed me on details that I wish I could erase from my mind. This should have been kept to her private life and not the public.
I don’t think it’s wrong for this subject matter to be discussed in the press, and I even enjoyed reading the article. It is well written and witty! I do think it’s inappropriate for it to be published in Mustang Daily through. There are free blogs and columns available all over the web, and I think the article would have been better placed there. There wasn’t a clear enough point to make it useful to the student body at large.
Make the message of the article more specific; something about how to have safe sex or when it’s right to have sex in a relationship would be ok to have in a university paper. Not “It’s spring quarter, lets bone!”
I am a taxpayer. This university is a public school. I am also a writer, and believe in first amendment rights. However, it is neither appropriate or becoming to include this and other articles written by this author. It is an attempt to sensationalize and to shock. It does not shock, it disgusts. Good luck to this author, who is a marginal writer at best, in getting a job after graduation. If this is what you’ve got for a portfolio, you better find something else to write about and start over with classes. Have some self-respect and dignity. Your writing is the fredricks of Hollywood version of Victoria’s Secret.
Wow. This was in the paper the same week hordes of potential incoming freshman and their parents were touring Cal Poly. What a great impression; come to Cal Poly, get your bone on! Freedom of speech yes, but in the correct forums only (as Beth describes). All of my friends agree, these columns are disgustingly inappropriate for MD. “But please do not illustrate graphic descriptions for every sexual experience you’ve ever had, because (a) your partner is not interested, and (b) that could take days if your sex life is anything like mine — just kidding.” but wait there’s (c) most of your readers aren’t interested in your sex life either.