If the purpose of Mr. Koman’s article was to raise a few tempers, then it was a purpose well accomplished. I have difficulty taking the article seriously for any other reasons based upon its stereotypical, blatantly ignorant arguments. A friend of mine (who I’ll get back to) brought the article to my attention and hence birthed this letter of response.

However, I almost refrained from writing anything, because I assume Mr. Koman probably wanted this type of response and attention in turn. It’s ironic that Mr. Koman said in his article that he wanted to call attention to the egoistic nature of people – assumingly white people. I cannot help but think that Mr. Koman really wanted to draw attention to his own egoistic nature. Certainly a letter so oblivious and hateful would bring exactly that to Mr. Koman: attention. I cannot resist giving him some attention though. You’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything. So, here I am, standing for something.

I am a political science major with a pre-law concentration. I consider myself well-versed in the area of freedom of speech, and I commend Mr. Koman in taking advantage of the constitutional right that our country grants to its citizens. Therefore, I am going to take Mr. Koman’s lead and speak my own mind.

I am a white person; maybe as white as it gets: blonde hair, blue eyes, and skin that refuses to tan. I drove a “gas-pissing battle station” for four years. You haven’t met me, Mr. Koman, but I would bet money that you hate me. It is a shame that we did not get a better start. I mean, we have so much in common.

One may think that, according to your article, only white people, or “whiteys” as you called them, drive these “gas-pissing battle stations.” Believe it or not, Mr. Koman, car dealerships across the nation will sell these horrific tools of warfare to any ethnicity as long as he or she is willing to drop the cash. It is not only “whiteys” who are “parking on top of a few stray baby penguins.” I am curious to know where you saw this parking of the penguins, Mr. Koman, because if penguins are in a parking lot, I think we have bigger issues to worry about. Maybe you should contact your friend, Mr. PETA.

You have a mathematical error in your “three types of white people” too. You list country folk, white suburbanites and (insert third kind of white people here). With this latter category left open for infinite answers, there are actually an infinite amount of white people. Please remember that when you decide to write something of this nature again.

The aforementioned friend who brought your article to my attention might fall in to your “county folk” category. He is a rodeo athlete, one of the cowboys who draw people to the sport of rodeo, and whom you openly despise. Rodeo, in fact, is not a “whitey” sport. It is an extension of the Spanish Vaqueros and nothing about “Spanish Vaqueros” sounds white.

My “country folk” friend happens to be interested in much more than guns, police chase videos and patriotic rock anthems, like you said. He could out-debate most scholars on the topic of the presidential election or the oil crisis. I am curious which “country folk” you have had experiences with. Or was it just an unintelligent stereotype that you thought would sound funny in this joke of an article you wrote?

Remember the Burger King commercial that you discussed, where the “whiteys” freak out? You forgot about the African-American woman who is also portrayed. Research your facts next time.

I might be considered a “white suburbanite.” I consider myself intelligent and of good judgment, but you, Mr. Koman, said that I do not actually know or understand broad social concepts and issues. I wish I would have had access to such valuable information before I started applying to law school last month. I guess I was misleading myself all along, and maybe I should just drop this whole law school dream. But you also said that I have this “huge ego that needs to be filled,” so maybe I should keep up with the law school plan, because what group of professionals has larger egos? I bet you really despise those damn “whitey” lawyers.

Luckily though, when the application asked for my race, I selected only Caucasian or white. Although I have a collective assortment of ethnicities mixed deep within my skin, I did not choose the other options. Thank goodness, because you hate when people say they are “half-Norwegian.” Hopefully the law school admission’s committees appreciate my fully-white answer that I selected.

My advice, Mr. Koman, is that you look inside yourself. Also, maybe look into an argumentative or debate class on campus that could assist you with your arguments. I know a couple of political science professors who could scare you into Keanu Reeves’ belly button, just like the creepy robotic scorpion you referenced.

I will tolerate your behavior though, Mr. Koman. Fortunately my education at Cal Poly has opened my mind to new ideas and has taught me to sympathize with those minds that have not.

Actually, saying I sympathize with you, Mr. Koman, may be a stretch. If you are looking for someone to feel sorry for you, here’s a secret:

You can find sympathy somewhere between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.

Brooke Tomlinson is a political science senior and a Mustang Daily guest columnist.

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