The Manure is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball.
Malia Mundy is a journalism junior and a satire columnist for Mustang News. The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect those of Mustang Media Group.
In perhaps the Central Coast’s biggest scandal, Musty the Mustang and UC Santa Barbara’s Olé the Gaucho have confirmed their relationship to the Manure.
After witnesses saw Musty and Olé leave Frog & Peach Pub together last Thursday, questions started to arise. They were also seen feeling each other up in the line for the bathroom on the same night.
“The whole night Musty couldn’t stop bringing up Olé in the conversation, saying stuff like ‘Olé is literally so annoying,’ ‘Olé doesn’t even know what it takes to be a serious mascot,’ or ‘Olé just viewed my Instagram story,’” said Oski, the UC Berkeley mascot.
Musty said that the flirtation started when Olé sent him a tortilla before the annual Blue-Green Rivalry against UC Santa Barbara’s men’s soccer in October 2025, with a note saying, “This tortilla isn’t the only one who wants to be thrown around during the game ;).”
Olé admitted to sending the tortilla as well as writing multiple anonymous YikYak posts thirsting over Musty, saying “What that Musty do tho,” and “Anyone else lowk wanna know what’s good w horseplay??”
Under fire from a long history of rivalry, Musty was nervous to pursue Olé. But in classic Shane Hollander style, Musty eventually folded after seeing Olé in the locker room after the game (#relatable).
President Jeffrey Armstrong has not been comfortable with this new dynamic.
“Sexual relationships between rival mascots may compromise valuable and sensitive university information,” Armstrong said in a press release. But the Manure also found his YikYak burner account, where he commented “omg hottttt” in response to Musty and Olé canoodling.
UC Santa Cruz’s Sammy the Banana Slug is not enthusiastic about his peers fraternizing.
“I think it’s unprofessional for mascots to mix their work and personal lives,” Sammy said. But that worm is irrelevant, so who even cares?
Musty has told Manure staff he is not comfortable putting a label on his relationship with Olé to not “scare away the roster.” He wishes the best for Olé in the future and wants to continue their confusing hook-ups in classic college fashion.