In this exclusive interview, I delved into depths few sane journalists are brave enough to venture: the mind of a self-proclaimed Cal Poly microcheater. I granted him anonymity and per his request, I will refer to him as Jack.
Category: Manure Satire
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
Midterm Mono outbreak
Cover your mouth and close those legs–it’s midterm mono season. Over halfway through our first semester, a monumental superspreader event is upon us as mono and strep cases reach an all-time high. Official investigations have revealed the two superspreaders: The co-ed dorm floors and musty engineering students.
Posted inSeptember Print ’26
Dear Malia Monday
In a satire column titled The Manure, Malia Mundy provides humorous and absurd advice to various Cal Poly students regarding relationships, academics and campus dining.
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
A day in the life of Jeffrey Armstrong
It was Monday, and the sun was shining. Jeff woke up smiling, like he always does. He turned over to the other side of the bed to see Musty the Mustang. The mascot’s glass eyes stared back with the warmth of a lover.Â
Posted inManure Satire
Cal Poly’s Musty the Mustang and UCSB’s Gaucho caught sneaky linking
In perhaps the Central Coast’s biggest scandal, Musty the Mustang and UC Santa Barbara’s OlĂ© the Gaucho have confirmed their relationship to the Manure.
Posted inManure Satire
Political demonstration on Dexter Lawn turns orgy
The Young Conservative Scholars Cal Poly chapter hosted a political demonstration on Dexter Lawn on Thursday. The demonstration in question involved lewd sexual behavior between members, Diddy style.
Posted inManure Satire
Five reasons you need to keep buying more clothesÂ
Get in girls, we’re going shopping. Why? Because I have nothing to wear. My closet, which is full, actually contains nothing. It is stocked with beautiful yet horrible clothes that nobody should ever buy, but also that I will never ever get rid of. Â
I can feel your judgment from here. Yes, I own five pairs of black leggings, but they are completely, fundamentally, legally distinct clothing items. One is high-waisted, one is flared, one has pockets. You would not ask someone why they own both a fork and a spoon. I am asking for that same basic human respect.
Posted inSatire
JDAWG SAYS: Rate your professor
SATIRE: Students should rate their professors on their attire, technical skills, office hours, hygiene, career stories and required textbooks.
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
St. Fratty’s survival guide: For WOWies & people who live under a rock
The Manure is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Malia Mundy is a journalism junior and a satire columnist for Mustang […]
Posted inManure Satire
JDAWG SAYS: How to register for classes
Registration season at Cal Poly is upon us, and with the increasing number of students and limited classes, students must resort to extreme measures to get the classes they need.
Posted inSatire
JDAWG SAYS: Here’s who should headline ‘Morning on the Green’
Cal Poly and San Luis Obispo have replaced the beloved Hathaway block party with a bland “Morning on the Green” event, featuring uninspired performances and police presence, and the author suggests more diverse and interesting acts to take the stage.