The Monday Manure is a satire column that publishes satire and opinion pieces that do not reflect the views of Mustang News.
The worst guy you know has special plans this Valentine’s Day
As Valentine’s Day approaches, the young daters of Cal Poly are looking for love. Jason Schroeder, a business administration sophomore,…
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The let them theory: Cal Poly edition
The self-help novel The Let Them Theory by life coach Mel Robbins has revolutionized how to approach conflict. It opts…
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JDAWG SAYS: Skipped your essay? Here are some excuses
SATIRE: Students have to come up with creative excuses to explain why they can’t finish their essays on time, from…
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Dormcest: Do’s and don’ts
It’s no secret that horned-up freshmen are likely to crap where they eat. The hormones and excitement that surround dorm-dwellers…
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What to expect going home for Thanksgiving 2025
There’s nothing quite like being home for the holidays, especially Thanksgiving. The smell of freshly-baked pumpkin pie, a house full…
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