Zach Berston is a journalism senior and a satire columnist for Mustang News. The content in this article does not necessarily reflect the views of Mustang Media Group.
The Cal Poly Food Pantry, which provides free food to students in need, has begun to stock up on the popular nicotine pouches, Zyn.
The initiative aims to ensure that any student who is struggling with finances can develop a struggle with nicotine addiction as well.
Cal Poly Food Pantry Spokesperson Chip Berger said, “Students are way too eager to take food from our pantry. We keep running out of the good stuff and nicotine is an appetite suppressant. We’re really turning less into more with this one.”
The Cal Poly Greek Life Community had a viscerally positive reaction to the news, with a planned “ZYN Parade” to be held in the coming weeks. The procession will march from the University Union all the way down the hill to the Food Pantry, where the ZYNs will have been freshly stocked.
Pi Omega Omega Chapter President Cheddar Links said, “You can call my upper lip an insomniac the way it’s been jonesing for a pillow to toss up there.”
Students can expect an email from the administration with a poll to determine flavor options. The current frontrunners are mint, coffee, and the Cal Poly exclusive flavor, Mustang Menthol.