The Young Conservative Scholars Cal Poly chapter hosted a political demonstration on Dexter Lawn on Thursday. The demonstration in question involved lewd sexual behavior between members, Diddy style.
Category: Monday Manure – Satire
Posted inSatire
jdawg says: act nonchalant
i’ve been watching the jfk jr. and carolyn bassette show and listening to faye webster through wired headphones. i’ve been trying so hard to mog that my jaw is getting stiff. i came to the realization that i need to calm down. a little crush and the impending doom of unemployment have me in shambles […]
Posted inManure Satire
Five reasons you need to keep buying more clothes
Get in girls, we’re going shopping. Why? Because I have nothing to wear. My closet, which is full, actually contains nothing. It is stocked with beautiful yet horrible clothes that nobody should ever buy, but also that I will never ever get rid of.
I can feel your judgment from here. Yes, I own five pairs of black leggings, but they are completely, fundamentally, legally distinct clothing items. One is high-waisted, one is flared, one has pockets. You would not ask someone why they own both a fork and a spoon. I am asking for that same basic human respect.
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
St. Fratty’s survival guide: For WOWies & people who live under a rock
The Manure is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Malia Mundy is a journalism junior and a satire columnist for Mustang […]
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
The worst guy you know has special plans this Valentine’s Day
As Valentine’s Day approaches, the young daters of Cal Poly are looking for love. Jason Schroeder, a business administration sophomore, is one of the lucky few who claimed to have found his person after years of what he said were spent chasing the wrong girls.
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
The let them theory: Cal Poly edition
The self-help novel The Let Them Theory by life coach Mel Robbins has revolutionized how to approach conflict. It opts for spending less time worrying about others’ motivations and letting go of the need to control what is out of reach. I am excited to announce her latest work: an exclusive partnership with The Manure to curate a new version based on our wonderful Cal Poly community.
Posted inManure Satire
JDAWG SAYS: Skipped your essay? Here are some excuses
SATIRE: Students have to come up with creative excuses to explain why they can’t finish their essays on time, from ChatGPT being down to the bars being too busy.
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
Dormcest: Do’s and don’ts
It’s no secret that horned-up freshmen are likely to crap where they eat. The hormones and excitement that surround dorm-dwellers are bound to cause some incest in freshman year living spaces. From yakʔitʸutʸu to Muir, North Mountain to Yosemite, no dorm goes unscathed by the looming presence of an awkward hook-up who lives in the same building as you.
Posted inSatire
What to expect going home for Thanksgiving 2025
There’s nothing quite like being home for the holidays, especially Thanksgiving. The smell of freshly-baked pumpkin pie, a house full of family and your parents immediately reminding you why you left in the first place.
Posted inManure Satire
Kennedy Library consumed by glowing black orb
After being under renovation for over two years and reopening in September 2025, the Kennedy Library is unavailable once again, due to an all-consuming, opaque black mass that has overtaken the building.
Posted inManure Satire
Six things to bring up during fraternity rush to guarantee a bid
Fraternity rush brings about the opportunity to meet lifelong friends, share unforgettable memories, and find a sense of belonging. With the second week of Cal Poly fraternity rush around the corner, here are a few tips that are guaranteed to boost your chances with the brothers.