Beer columnist enjoys his final exbeerience

Sniffle … sniffle … sniff, sniff. What’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong. This is my last beer column. The last time I will pen the Beer Me! section of your Thursday newspaper. I know, I know. I’m going to miss you, too.

Alas, the end is here — I am graduating. I would quote a bunch of songs that talk about new beginnings and changes, but that would be lame and weird. So I won’t. But before I embark on the last part of this leg of my journey through beers, I would just like to say it has been a great exbeerience with you all.

Enough of that. There’s so little to do and so much time. Wait, scratch that — reverse it. This week I went back into the archives of this column online in search of beer tasting requests from readers.

For the most part, I’ve got them covered with the following three beers. Sadly, I was not able to try the Costco’s variety pack, for if I did, I would very likely not be able to finish the column in any coherent fashion. What I did decide to try were beers from Unibroue, our local Downtown Brew and the brave and uncanny Dogfish Head.

Alrighty, let’s get started. The first beer I tried was the Monster Mash from Downtown Brew. This is quite a dark beer, that’s for sure. It has a very distinct flavor — almost overpowering. I might describe it as coffee beans salvaged from the wreckage of Cabo San Luis (R.I.P.). Not as chocolaty as I was hoping, but it was a little late in the season, so maybe the batch is a little old and the smoky/coffee flavor took over.

Next up is the Punkin Ale. This was the first beer produced by Dogfish Head and was actually made before Dogfish Head even opened. It was created for a pumpkin recipe contest held at the annual Punkin Chunkin. What’s this Punkin Chunkin thing? Well, it’s a grand event where people get together and launch pumpkins as far as they can! Sweeeet.

Anywho, this beer pours with little head that is off-white. It has an aroma of predominantly pumpkin and brown sugar. The taste is much the same.

For being a 7 percent alcohol by volume (ABV) beer, it is incredibly smooth and very flavorful. As it has real brown sugar in it, which is used in the fermentation process, the beer is quite sweet, but not too much so. It also has a nice touch of spices (allspice, cinnamon and nutmeg, according to the bottle and Web site).

And finally, we have the Trois Pistoles (twa pee-stole), made by Unibroue (pronounced … well I don’t really know, but it isn’t like that hair that grows between your eyebrows). This is one dark, strong beer.

At nine percent ABV and “dusky black,” according to the Unibroue Web site, it is also surprisingly smooth. The aroma is very much of fruits and an expected flavor follows, though it is much more powerful. While it does have quite a kick, it is, again, quite smooth.

Before I sign off, I wanted to remind you all of the upcoming Morro Bay Chamber of Commerce Beer Fest and Chili Cook-Off this Saturday. Also, there is the California Festival of Beers (and golf tournament), coming up in May. As many of you know, the regular tickets are already sold out. Lucky for you, there are still plenty of $150 tickets left that include much, much more. And for you big spenders out there, the “Beer Lover’s Golf Pass” gets you all that and entry into the golf tournament for a bargain price of $200! Whoa!

Now for those of you who are like me and enjoy beer, but not for $75 for 13 tasting-sized glasses, head to your local liquor store and grab fewer beers for cheaper and enjoy them with some other thrifty friends. You’ll probably even remember what they all taste like.

Well anyway, this is it. I’m graduating at the end of this quarter and will become a workingman. Hopefully. This is the end. But don’t be sad, it’s also the beginning of a new life — it’s the … “dawning of the Age of Aquarius,” so “let the sunshine in.” It’s time for “ch-ch-changes (turn and face the strain) … ch-ch-changes, just gonna have to be a different man.”

It’s time for me to get out of here and let someone else take over. After all, “every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” So if you think you want to take over and have a great exbeerience during your time here in college, I highly recommend going on mustangdaily.net and applying to be the new (and improved!) beer columnist.

Ummm. Don’t drink and drive.