Cal Poly freshman Herbert Van Jeffy is confirmed through new reports to be locked in a psychiatric ward after saying something so absurd that he could only be perceived as insane.
As he exited his classroom on the day before his midterm, the professor, Dr. J.M. Berber, wished a broad statement of good fortune to her students. Jeffy, in a turn of events that no one could’ve expected, uttered two shocking words, “You too.”
Much of the class froze in shock while Dr. Berber began to rip her hair follicles from her head out of confusion. One student jumped out the window, falling three feet and scraping their left knee. In an interview with an eyewitness, they said, “It was truly one of the most shocking things I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ve started twice weekly therapy, but I’m not making any progress. I’m probably gonna have to drop out after this.“
The university has released a statement, urging students to be more careful before they speak, as words have consequences, even words spoken by stupid idiots.