Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke Well, faithful Mustang Daily readers, our glorious run has come to an end. We’ve had a lot of laughs, but more importantly, we’ve all […]
Author Archives: Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke
A cry for help: A personal letter
Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke Dear Faithful Mustang Daily Reader, You wouldn’t believe everything that’s happened to us lately. We haven’t spoken in oh, so long, and we feel […]
Reasons why David Blaine does crazy things
Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke Last week, “magician” David Blaine performed a stunt that required him to stay in an aquarium for over a week and then attempted to […]
We parked in the ASI president's parking spot
Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke The Two Classy Gents had a rough week. First of all, someone gave us a fashion memo that said wearing Birkenstocks with socks apparently […]
Rumor Patrol: We had sex with Nicky Hilton
Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke The Rumor Patrol would like to say one thing: this is definitely not a rumor. The Rumor Patrol definitely had sex with Nicky Hilton. […]
Arbor Day is for pinkos?
Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke Have you noticed that the pungent stench of nature is a little stronger today than it was yesterday? That’s because today is Arbor Day, […]
Box office blockbusters: 'The Da Vinci Code' vs. 'Snakes on a Plane'
Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke As you may or may not be aware, faithful Mustang Daily reader, the Two Classy Gents often get a chance to sample cinema’s finer […]
Wait, OJ killed someone?
Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke When did that happen? 1995? Are you serious? Oh, you’re dead serious? Is that a pun? Alright Mr. Funny Guy, stop joking around. It’s […]
Bring back Jack Ingram
Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke Every Tuesday, we used to open up the Mustang Daily trembling with anticipation. Just like a Golden Ticket, there lies Jack Ingram’s wonderful “Soapbox […]
Report: Gents fake classiness
Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke N ote to faithful Mustang Daily reader: We at the Mustang Daily office recently unearthed this article about the Two “Classy” Gents, the Honorable […]
A few classy guidelines for cocaine use
Douglas B. Bruzzone and Michael Matzke In celebration of “Designer Drug History Month,” each week we will cover the hippest drug to snort, shoot or put in your butt. We’ll […]