The Monday Manure is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Madi Taylor is a sociology freshman and a satire columnist for […]
Category: Manure Satire
Posted inSatire
JDAWG SAYS: The ultimate guide to becoming a Cal Poly gym bro
There are lots of opportunities on our campus that you should take advantage of to get the full Cal Poly student experience and because we pay hella fees. One of these expenses is a mandatory fee that contributes to the Rec Center, which in my mind means mandatory gains. Open 6 a.m. to midnight during […]
Posted inSatire
JDAWG SAYS: Dorm room essentials
New students at Cal Poly – San Luis Obispo are encouraged to fill their dorms with items to show their personality and style, such as a matcha set, vinyl records, Taylor Swift merch, Labubu dolls, vapes, moonbeam ice cream, and Halloweekend costumes.
Posted inManure Satire
Six things to bring up during fraternity rush to guarantee a bid
Fraternity rush brings about the opportunity to meet lifelong friends, share unforgettable memories, and find a sense of belonging. With the second week of Cal Poly fraternity rush around the corner, here are a few tips that are guaranteed to boost your chances with the brothers.Â
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
Parents welcome daughter home after graduation, confident she’ll leave someday
“Of course we’re proud,” said Gertrude, while aggressively vacuuming the carpet in a zigzag pattern. “She’s the first in the family to get a B.A. in Medieval Painting Discussion with a minor in Thinking about Stuff. She’s been working so hard, you know, at figuring herself out.”
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
Student drops out after seeing professor at Frog and Peach PubÂ
Ani Nazarian is an English sophomore and satire columnist for Mustang News. The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect those of Mustang Media Group. The Monday Manure is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not […]
Posted inMay Print 25
A guide to SLO street parking for the desperate and unpermitted
Finding parking in San Luis Obispo, especially for a Cal Poly student without a permit, is a daily struggle that tests your patience and creativity. Here’s a ranked breakdown of the most lucky and most desperate parking spots I’ve seen parked in, from worst to best.