Posted inManure Satire

Five reasons you need to keep buying more clothes 

Get in girls, we’re going shopping. Why? Because I have nothing to wear. My closet, which is full, actually contains nothing. It is stocked with beautiful yet horrible clothes that nobody should ever buy, but also that I will never ever get rid of.  

I can feel your judgment from here. Yes, I own five pairs of black leggings, but they are completely, fundamentally, legally distinct clothing items. One is high-waisted, one is flared, one has pockets. You would not ask someone why they own both a fork and a spoon. I am asking for that same basic human respect.

Posted inSatire

JDAWG SAYS: Start goonmogging

The Manure is Mustang News’ satire content. JDAWG SAYS is a satirical advice column written by a Mustang News staff member. This content is intended to be satirical and does not necessarily represent the views of Mustang News.  Gather around, Professor JDAWG’s class is in session. Goonmogging (noun) /goon-mog/ The concept of goonmogging comes from […]

Posted inManure Satire

JDAWG SAYS: How to post your lover

College is crazy. Some of you will be getting a ring before spring and others still have not had a first kiss. The art of crafting the perfect post of your boyfriend or girlfriend or fiancé or “partner” can be challenging.  Publicly associating with them can be nerve-wracking. Posting your lover is basically like saying, […]

Posted inMonday Manure - Satire

The let them theory: Cal Poly edition

The self-help novel The Let Them Theory by life coach Mel Robbins has revolutionized how to approach conflict. It opts for spending less time worrying about others’ motivations and letting go of the need to control what is out of reach. I am excited to announce her latest work: an exclusive partnership with The Manure to curate a new version based on our wonderful Cal Poly community. 

Posted inSatire

How to become a professional Yik Yaker

The Monday Manure is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Madi Taylor is a sociology freshman and a satire columnist for […]

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