On Friday, October 31st, Cal Poly parent Rick Flannery was hospitalized attempting to kegstand at a ZBT party he attended with his wife, Karen, and daughter, Shea.
Tag: satire
Posted inSatire
How to become a professional Yik Yaker
The Monday Manure is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Madi Taylor is a sociology freshman and a satire columnist for […]
Posted inManure Satire
Six things to bring up during fraternity rush to guarantee a bid
Fraternity rush brings about the opportunity to meet lifelong friends, share unforgettable memories, and find a sense of belonging. With the second week of Cal Poly fraternity rush around the corner, here are a few tips that are guaranteed to boost your chances with the brothers.
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
Parents welcome daughter home after graduation, confident she’ll leave someday
“Of course we’re proud,” said Gertrude, while aggressively vacuuming the carpet in a zigzag pattern. “She’s the first in the family to get a B.A. in Medieval Painting Discussion with a minor in Thinking about Stuff. She’s been working so hard, you know, at figuring herself out.”
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
Student drops out after seeing professor at Frog and Peach Pub
Ani Nazarian is an English sophomore and satire columnist for Mustang News. The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect those of Mustang Media Group. The Monday Manure is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not […]
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
Student receives financial aid but immediately returns it to seem poor and relatable
After receiving her financial aid check for spring quarter, journalism junior Chella Garbanzo immediately returned the full amount, referencing a desire to maintain her identity as “a struggling college student with authentic vibes.”
Posted inMay Print 25
A guide to SLO street parking for the desperate and unpermitted
Finding parking in San Luis Obispo, especially for a Cal Poly student without a permit, is a daily struggle that tests your patience and creativity. Here’s a ranked breakdown of the most lucky and most desperate parking spots I’ve seen parked in, from worst to best.
Posted inMonday Manure - Satire
Cal Poly food pantry to begin stocking up on ZYN
The Cal Poly Food Pantry, which provides free food to students in need, has begun to stock up on the popular nicotine pouches, Zyn.
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: Finding resolutions we can actually keep
With each passing year, our resolutions seemingly become more and more ambitious, but subsequently harder and harder to achieve. By now, most Americans have already given up on their serious resolutions. This begs the question: have we had it wrong all this time? Perhaps we can benefit from approaching these goals with a different mindset?
Posted inOpinion
Voter Bias: How to Vote Smart
Voter bias refers to the behavior of voters influenced by preconceived notions and unconscious biases. It captures the tendency of individuals to favor certain candidates based on personal beliefs, experiences or affiliations rather than objectively assessing candidates’ qualifications or policies.
Posted inNews
Maverick News: Two brothers take on satirizing Cal Poly
John Jorgenson has loved satire since he was young and bonded with his brothers over the comedic stylings of Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. Now, the psychology senior is one of the minds behind the Cal Poly satirical online news publication, Maverick News, which officially launched in January.