If you’re a lot like me, who has spent lots (and lots and lots) of time consuming TikToks, you’re itching to find something better to do with your time. Here’s how to stay busy during quarantine.
Category: Satire
Posted inTop Stories
The Hoof: Cal Poly debuts new software to simulate hyper-realistic on-campus experience
Meet Eurodamn, a realistic virtual technology that simulates Cal Poly’s most distinguished features — like virtual parking citations and the refreshing smell of cow.
Posted inTop Stories
The Hoof: Relationship advice for the pandemic era
Relationships can be difficult to navigate. The Hoof has supplied students with fool-proof scripts for relationships of all sorts.
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof reviews campus buildings Yelp-style
The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns. Hannah Benson is a journalism senior and satire columnist. The […]
Posted inOpinion
Ladies, kiss your life of luxury goodbye
Tessa Hughes is a journalism sophomore and opinion columnist. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Mustang News. Every girl remembers the day when Aunt Flo first knocks on her door unexpectedly, coming to ruin her life for the next 30 to 40 years. It’s not a choice, either. Periods: The burden no […]
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: Cal Poly class of 2024 to be sorted into Hogwarts Houses
The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns. Hannah Benson is a journalism senior and satire columnist. The […]
Posted inOpinion
Cal Poly awarded the “Coolest School Around” after putting a link to porn on its website
“At first, we were expecting the rankings’ loss to be a P.R. disaster, but the porn saved us,” said so many administration members that I lost track of all the names — everyone wanted to tell me this.
Posted inTop Stories
The Hoof: College students ‘adopt’ minimalism
“Doing the dishes did not spark joy. So we threw them all away.”
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: Anxiety hacked! CSU announces stress balls for all students
Along with stress balls, the “Just Don’t Worry” campaign aims to implement more signs pointing to the Rec Center to advocate more exercise across campus.
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: How the lack of street lights benefits students
After the election in 2018, it was announced that only one streetlight would be installed every year and in a letter to the editor, why the plans for Street Light Installation Program were moving at a snail’s pace.
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: Three creative ways to own up to an issue that should have been addressed a super long time ago
Here at The Hoof, we present the most effective ways to apologize and fix an ongoing problem as demonstrated by our university.