The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns. Hannah Benson is a journalism senior and satire columnist. The […]
Category: Satire
Posted inOpinion
Ladies, kiss your life of luxury goodbye
Tessa Hughes is a journalism sophomore and opinion columnist. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Mustang News. Every girl remembers the day when Aunt Flo first knocks on her door unexpectedly, coming to ruin her life for the next 30 to 40 years. It’s not a choice, either. Periods: The burden no […]
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: Cal Poly class of 2024 to be sorted into Hogwarts Houses
The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns. Hannah Benson is a journalism senior and satire columnist. The […]
Posted inOpinion
Cal Poly awarded the “Coolest School Around” after putting a link to porn on its website
“At first, we were expecting the rankings’ loss to be a P.R. disaster, but the porn saved us,” said so many administration members that I lost track of all the names — everyone wanted to tell me this.
Posted inTop Stories
The Hoof: College students ‘adopt’ minimalism
“Doing the dishes did not spark joy. So we threw them all away.”
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: Anxiety hacked! CSU announces stress balls for all students
Along with stress balls, the “Just Don’t Worry” campaign aims to implement more signs pointing to the Rec Center to advocate more exercise across campus.
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: How the lack of street lights benefits students
After the election in 2018, it was announced that only one streetlight would be installed every year and in a letter to the editor, why the plans for Street Light Installation Program were moving at a snail’s pace.
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: Three creative ways to own up to an issue that should have been addressed a super long time ago
Here at The Hoof, we present the most effective ways to apologize and fix an ongoing problem as demonstrated by our university.
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: Cal Poly commences construction on absolutely everything
Freshmen may understandably face some trouble when unable to enter a building from three of its most convenient sides, but sources tell The Hoof that there may be some helpful arrows printed on copier paper.
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: PG&E Decides Providing Power Not Worth The Hassle
“I don’t really know how on earth I’m going to get around campus without being able to charge my boosted skateboard,” agriculture business freshman John Watt said.
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: Moving Too Fast? Here’s How to Have The Conversation
The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns. Hannah Benson is a journalism senior and satire columnist. The […]