The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns. Brayden Martinez is an architecture engineering sophomore and Mustang News […]
Category: Satire
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: Cal Poly’s Campus Pass is the latest in cutting edge technological innovations
The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns. Jack Clark is a journalism senior and Mustang News opinion […]
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: Campus Parking — What remains of the land of Automobile Animalia
The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns. Sydney Sherman is a journalism junior. The views expressed do […]
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: The greek life community responds to COVID-19
The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns. Declan Molony is a business administration senior. The views expressed do […]
Posted inOpinion
How to stay busy during quarantine
If you’re a lot like me, who has spent lots (and lots and lots) of time consuming TikToks, you’re itching to find something better to do with your time. Here’s how to stay busy during quarantine.
Posted inTop Stories
The Hoof: Cal Poly debuts new software to simulate hyper-realistic on-campus experience
Meet Eurodamn, a realistic virtual technology that simulates Cal Poly’s most distinguished features — like virtual parking citations and the refreshing smell of cow.
Posted inTop Stories
The Hoof: Relationship advice for the pandemic era
Relationships can be difficult to navigate. The Hoof has supplied students with fool-proof scripts for relationships of all sorts.
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof reviews campus buildings Yelp-style
The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns. Hannah Benson is a journalism senior and satire columnist. The […]
Posted inOpinion
Ladies, kiss your life of luxury goodbye
Tessa Hughes is a journalism sophomore and opinion columnist. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Mustang News. Every girl remembers the day when Aunt Flo first knocks on her door unexpectedly, coming to ruin her life for the next 30 to 40 years. It’s not a choice, either. Periods: The burden no […]
Posted inOpinion
The Hoof: Cal Poly class of 2024 to be sorted into Hogwarts Houses
The Hoof is a satire column created to find the humor in the daily life of Cal Poly students. If you’re looking for news, this is not it. If you’re looking for sports, this is kind of it, because we’re having a ball. Ha. Puns. Hannah Benson is a journalism senior and satire columnist. The […]
Posted inOpinion
Cal Poly awarded the “Coolest School Around” after putting a link to porn on its website
“At first, we were expecting the rankings’ loss to be a P.R. disaster, but the porn saved us,” said so many administration members that I lost track of all the names — everyone wanted to tell me this.